Empathy is the awareness that everything and everyone is a part of you and you love it
em-pa-thy : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner : the capacity for this.
My View...
Empathy is allowing others in your shared reality to be who they are and unconditionally loving them for who they are with no attachment or desire to feel like you have to fix or save them.
Find your way into the stories of others and simply observe them and understand them as they are, see that they too are experiencing their own story and simply love and bless them.
The best thing you can do if you really want to help is to set a good example for them and see them letting go of their wound or story if its harming them, see them as healed, see them as the way they want to be and give them the space to change and connect with their God-Self.
There’s a necessary balance to stepping in and stepping out of the lives of others and your heart will tell you when it’s time to step in and when it’s time to step out. Love them and let them be themselves and they’ll find their own way when they are ready.
My Experience...
A couple of years ago we had my wife’s nephew Richard stay with us in our home for a few months. Richard had recently gotten in a motorcycle accident and he like me had lost his left lower leg to the accident, however he lost his above the knee.
Richard was very distraught with the whole ordeal and very angry. Additionally he had worn out his welcome at a couple of other places where he was staying so we took him to help out.
Richard was pretty messed up, not just physically but probably more so mentally. He was really sucked into his story so much so that he was playing the victim role to the tee. Apparently he had been on drugs before the accident and more so after, so not only was he dealing with a great loss, he was doing with a clouded head.
He and I had a number of talks and given that I too had lost a leg I related well to his situation. I understood his pain and empathized with him, however as hard as I tried to get to the truth of his story he was resistant and caught up in victimhood, anger, grief, shame, sadness and hate.
Within a couple of months he was letting down some of the walls and making some sight headway however he couldn’t seem to allow himself to forgive those who he felt mistreated him nor could he forgive himself.
All along while staying in our home he was sneaking drug use and even though my wife and I both asked him to stop, he wouldn’t comply, so we had to ask him to leave just like the others who had asked him to leave before us. Keep in mind that our children are 14 and 15 and we didn’t want them exposed to that type of activity.
Richard did leave and we too fell into the pool one’s that mistreated him. However time has passed and he and I have had a couple of talks since and apparently the stepping in and stepping out, setting a good example and allowing space for him to change and connect with his God-Self helped and I’m happy to report that he’s doing much better these days.
The Simple...
Love everybody and all things because everybody and all things are God, they are aspects of you. If you choose to hate another you’re choosing to hate an aspect of God, which of course is choosing to hate an aspect of yourself.
Allow others to experience what they need to experience, you can only love them and help them connect to their Godhood by showing them the way through your actions and the example you set.
EMPATHY - I Love Thy Neighbor...
The Heart within each of us is the true source of love, peace, joy, wisdom, strength, and fulfillment. Everything that really matters is found within our own Being. The book, Living from the Heart leads the reader gradually and yet deeply into experiences of this inner wisdom and capacity for love.
Chapman manages to make tried-and-true material feel fresh through carefully chosen examples from his pastoral counseling practice and his own life... This book is head and shoulders above the bulk of self-help literature precisely because it is not about "self" so much as helping others.
Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, he shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships. Engaging stories clarify each point and bring this message to life.
Opportunities to actively engage in your transformation and that of our world are woven into the fabric of your everyday life. Learning more about the terrain of consciousness transformation can not only give you a map, but can help you be the cartographer of your own transformative journey.
People toiling away in lukewarm relationships are lacking "real love"- the ability to care unconditionally. When we're unhappy, our misery is not the fault of our partner. Blaming that person is therefore foolish, wasteful and destructive, no matter how much we insist, he or she cannot make us happy.
